On the Nature of the Girls’ Fate
Fantasy Divine Tragicomedy
It feels like a decade has passed, though it’s been less than a year since I completed the first chapter of the Inscrutable Ways of Fate. At first, I was unsure if I could write a book in English without compromising my standards or finding my unique style in a foreign language. My wife, Raine Stonewall, who also serves as my co-author, advised me to write the chapters in my native language first and then translate them. I decided to give it a try with this chapter, although I’d had the title in English from the outset.
By the time I began working on the Girls’ Fate, I already had five published books under my belt in my mother language. I knew the content, the characters, the beginning and the end of the chapter, along with the key dialogues and significant moments. I never write without having a plan in place. Nonetheless, it had been nearly six months since I’d last written anything, leaving me with growing uncertainty. It took me longer than usual to write this chapter in Czech, and even more time to translate it. Through that process, I realised it wasn’t the right approach. Writing directly in English made more sense, skipping the translation phase altogether.
Since the initial translation, I’ve made several edits and polished the text, but the plot, characters, and emotions remain unchanged. It took me nearly a year to refine my poetic style, and I am sure there’s still room for improvement. In retrospect, I can see the small part of the journey I’ve overcome—the obstacles I once tripped over until I learnt to identify them. However, it wasn’t the thorny path that caused me so much pain, but rather the people I encountered along the way. Demons and beasts of prey in human form tried to rob me of money, hope, and time. Still, I’m grateful to have learned those lessons sooner rather than later.
Now, let us focus on the first chapter of The Inscrutable Ways of Fate.
In the Girls’ Fate, we are introduced to one of the main characters, a headstrong girl named Eiri. The story begins with a motion scene where Eiri is rushing home, fearing the punishment her mother will deliver for her late return. The mere mention of a birch switch unsettled about half of the beta readers, despite the punishment never actually occurring. The reaction to this first chapter prompted me to consider adding a trigger warning, something I sought advice on in a writer’s group on social media. The response?
“You’re being passive-aggressive,” they said, and that a trigger warning had no place in the book. The moral of it, you can’t please everyone.
The story is set in a mediaeval-like world where corporal punishment is the least of anyone’s concerns. Real horrors and cruelty lie ahead in the following volumes. In the first book, the characters are on the brink of adulthood, leading relatively normal lives. Our aim is to create believable stories and characters that develop naturally, without trying to become the next bestseller.
Eiri, much like the elven sorcerer Jordan from the prologue, received harsh criticism from beta readers for being too ordinary and for lacking a dangerous life. While I accept this feedback, it raises an interesting question: What sort of perilous life should a girl under ten lead? Should she become an orphan and follow in the footsteps of Conan the Barbarian? Or should she receive magical items like a well-known ring and set off for Mordor?
Our world is NOT heavily patriarchal, where women are merely regarded as childbearers, but stereotypical thinking runs deep in some regions. Eiri’s story is about the birth of a strong female character. She struggles to find her place in the world, rebels against the social roles her mother imposes, and feels lost. Life seems unfair to her, as she is burdened with helping to raise her two younger brothers, while her best friend, an only child, appears to have everything she desires.
The descriptive parts of the story are integral to our writing style and serve as the foundation for world-building. We offer a variety of historical clothing and materials, allowing the reader to view the story from different angles, such as through the perspective of the mother.
In many modern tales about teenage girls, we often see a Cinderella-like character suffering at the hands of a wicked stepmother-like, but without exploring the mother’s own motives. We do things differently. By switching between characters during the chapter, we allow readers to delve into their thoughts. You can empathise with the protagonist, or the rest of characters.
Ludmila, the mother, has given birth to three children and is pregnant with a fourth. She seeks help and responsibility from her eldest daughter, who is too young to be in her shoes. The boys, witnessing their arguments, are affected too. It’s ironic that, despite family dramas and childhood traumas being common reasons for psychological therapy today, many of our beta readers saw these themes as insignificant to the characters’ development. I don’t judge, but it keeps me thinking about these things, as it wasn’t just one reader who gave such feedback.
The Girls’ Fate chapter serves as a brief introduction to Eiri’s character and her family’s circumstances, concluding with a dramatic scene that promises action and consequences. The reader will have to wait until chapter seven for the continuation of Eiri’s story, as she is not the only main protagonist. We recognise that this style of storytelling may not be to everyone’s taste. That is why we are introducing it through these articles, rather than proclaiming how great and original the story is.
The main change in the Girls’ Fate since the first draft is the use of dialect in the characters’ speech. It took me some time to study, but I feel it is an important element, as the family lives in a poor, small town with little access to education, which naturally affects their language.
Here, we offer a taste of part of the latest version of the Girls’ Fate.
Town of Goldiloop; the year of disgrace 1352
“And don’t forget to bring a basket!”
Eiri rolled her eyes and hung her arm.
“Are you listenin’ to me, Eiri?!” demanded the relentless voice.
“Aye, Mum,” she said aloud for Ludmila to hear.
Her attention turned away from Anti, and she approached the chest near her parents’ bed. Eiri lifted the lid with both hands and stared at the piles of clothes she had neatly folded under the watchful eye of their mother the previous day. Morose, Eiri pulled her best yellow clothes over her head and reached for an outfit made of coarse linen that more resembled a sack than a girl’s dress.
“Are you dressed yet?!” Ludmila did not give her peace.
“Aye, Mum!” she shouted with little thought.
“Liar,” Anti hissed, and he flicked her naked backside with a birch in their mother’s style.
Eiri leapt up in pain and surprise at the same time. Anti did not wait for her response; he dropped the switch and darted away before his sister could turn around.
“And don’t forget to bring a basket!” he mimicked Ludmila, sticking his tongue out at her and hiding behind the stove.
Furious, donning that ugly dress, Eiri picked up a flexible cane and pursued the fair-haired rascal. But instead of their usual chase around the stove, Anti sprinted towards the door, seeking refuge behind his mother’s skirt.
“You chickenshit!” Eiri shouted in disappointment.
Ludmila appeared in the doorway, her hands on her hips. “I’ve had enough of this!” she declared in a tone that made Eiri’s bum crack tighten. “Fetch a basket and let’s get going. And hand over that birch you’re hiding behind your back. I’ve a feelin’ we’ll need it,” ordered Ludmila, extending her hand.
As soon as Eiri caught sight of Ludmila, her posture stiffened like a ramrod, and her eyes shifted upward to the low attic where they were drying the gathered herbs. She swallowed nervously in response to the command and lowered her gaze. Shuffling in her bast shoes, known as lapte in that region, Eiri approached the irate mother and obediently handed her the birch twig. She glanced at Ludmila’s enraged face and hastily brought the wicker basket—the very same one she had forgotten in the woods at the start of spring, along with the lungwort flowers she had gathered to treat Anti’s chest cold. The compelled return for the basket, as nightfall approached, resulted not only in her mother’s reprimand but also in several nights of nightmares. The recollection of the dim forest and the eerie sounds that had to belong only to the creatures from ghost stories gave Eiri goosebumps and contorted her countenance.
“Why’re you gawpin’ like ye’ve swallowed a toad?” Ludmila snapped, her patience wearing thin.
“Yuck! A toad,” Anti peeked out from behind her skirt.
Their mother turned around and exhibited the birch to him, a stern expression on her face, without uttering a word or making any threatening gestures. It was enough to show him to make him understand she was in no mood for ploys.
If only the same would carry weight with her. Ludmila glanced at her daughter, who could not hide her annoyance.
Eiri gave a reproachful look to their mother, who was beginning to show the first wrinkles around her brooklime-blue eyes. The square shape of her medium white face appeared visually slimmer for her hazel-blonde hair, which flowed down over her loosely tied bodice and partially covered the sunburnt nape of neck. The corners of her wide, slender lips turned downward, and though she appeared stern and menacing, she was only exhausted.
Ludmila wore a loktushe—a white bonnet, the emblem of a married woman—atop her head. The pea-green skirt that extended nearly to her ankles, overlaying her long white shirt. A girdle with pouches for gathering herbaceous plants encircled her waist above her pregnant belly. She had feet swathed in foot rags and shod in low, heel-less, soft shoes fastened around her ankles with twine. These shoes, known as krpce in the local region, were tailored from a single piece of cowhide.
“Let’s go,” commanded Ludmila.
At that moment, the anguished cry of Ivan resonated from behind her. Eiri and Anti jerked in alarm. The herbalist from Goldiloop pivoted on her heel and hurried out to her son, with the older children following suit.
The youngest member of their family sat on the doorstep beside his mother’s wicker basket. A small knife lay on the ground in front of him, its blade exposed, while its leather sheath was a little way away. Ivan clutched his bleeding finger, and his cries intensified.
Anti widened his eyes and hissed as if he could feel his brother’s pain. Eiri tensed up.
If he’s cut himself bad, we ain’t goin’ nowhere. A saving idea flashed through Eiri’s mind, followed by the pang of searing shame.
Ludmila let out a deep sigh. “Show me,” she urged her son, bending over her pregnant belly. Ivan obediently raised his arm. Ludmila grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him to his feet, and then she briefly examined each of his hands.
“You’re fine,” she delivered the stern verdict, wiping a drop of blood from his index finger with her thumb.
Anti breathed a sigh of relief, whereas Eiri could not help screwing up her face.
“It hurts!” Ivan complained.
“Then you should remember it,” said the seasoned mother sternly. “I told ye not to touch the knife. But you didn’t listen, so it’s your own fault. I ain’t gonna pity you,” she reprimanded Ivan for his mistake and straightened up.
Thank you for taking the time to read the preview of the Girls’ Fate. Did you find it interesting or rather dull? Is there a particular book that this story or style reminds you of? We would greatly appreciate your thoughts and feedback.
Yours Truly,
Nathaniel Wonderful
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