On the Nature of the Girls’ Fate

The Beginning of the Story of Eiri of Goldiloop
Less than a year has passed since I completed the Girls’ Fate, the first chapter following the prologue of the Inscrutable Ways of Fate, yet it feels a distant memory.
At first, I wondered if I could write in English without compromising my high standards for rich language and precise word choice. My wife, Raine, my co-author for plot ideas, suggested writing in Czech and then translating. I tried this approach for the chapter, though the title was conceived in English from the outset.
With five books already published in my native tongue, I knew the heart of the Girls’ Fate—its characters, its arc, its pivotal dialogues, and its weighty moments. I always write with a plan. Yet, after a six-month break, I grew unaccustomed to writing, stirring uncertainty. Crafting this chapter in Czech took longer than expected, and translating it proved even slower. I soon realised this path was ill-suited; writing directly in English was the truer course, bypassing translation entirely.
Since that initial translation, I’ve made several edits to polish the text, but the plot, characters, and emotions remain unchanged. It took nearly a year to refine my poetic style in this chapter, and there’s still room for growth.
Looking back, I see the trials I have surmounted—obstacles that once felled me until I learnt their shape. But it was not the rugged road that wounded me most, but rather the folk met along the way. Charlatans and daemons in human guise sought to strip me of coin, hope, and time. Yet, I am thankful to have gleaned these lessons early.
Let us now turn to the Girls’ Fate, the first chapter of the Inscrutable Ways of Fate.

In the Girls’ Fate, we meet Eiri, a willful girl and one of the tale’s chief figures of the Divine Tragicomedy series. The story opens in motion, with Eiri hastening home, dreading the chastisement her mother, Ludmila, might mete out for her late return.
The mere mention of a birch stirred unease in half our beta readers, though no punishment occurs. This reaction led me to consider a trigger warning, a notion I raised in a writers’ group online.
Their response?
“You’re being passive-aggressive,” they declared, claiming such warnings don’t belong in literature. The lesson: you can’t please everyone.
The tale unfolds in a mediaeval-like world where corporal discipline is the least of woes. Greater horrors await in later volumes. In this first book, characters teeter on the brink of adulthood, their lives still relatively ordinary, unmarred by the world’s deeper cruelties. Our aim is to weave believable stories and characters that evolve naturally, not chasing the fleeting glory of a bestseller.
Eiri, like the elven sorcerer Jordan from the Prologue, faced criticism from beta readers for being too ordinary, her life lacking danger. I note this, but it raises a question: What perilous life should a girl under ten lead?
Should she become an orphan and follow the path of Conan the Barbarian? Or wield a well-known ring and set off for Mordor?

Our world is not heavily patriarchal, where women are mere childbearers, but stereotypes and prejudices linger in some regions. Eiri’s story traces the birth of a strong female character. She rebels against the roles her mother imposes, feels lost, and sees life as unfair, burdened with helping raise her younger brothers while her best friend, an only child, seems to have all she desires.
The descriptive passages anchor our style, building the foundation for a vivid world. We detail historical garments and materials, allowing readers to view the story from different angles, such as through Ludmila’s perspective. Unlike modern tales of Cinderella-like girls suffering under wicked stepmothers, we explore the mother’s motives. By shifting between characters’ thoughts, we let readers dwell in their minds, empathising with Eiri or others.
Ludmila, mother of three and heavy with a fourth, seeks help from Eiri, who is too young to be in her shoes. The boys, caught in their quarrels, bear scars of their own. It’s ironic that family dramas and childhood traumas—common roots of psychological therapy today—were deemed insignificant by many beta readers. I don’t judge, but it keeps me pondering, as this came from more than one reader.
This chapter offers a glimpse of Eiri’s spirit and her family’s trials, closing with a dramatic scene that heralds action and consequences. Readers must wait until chapter seven for Eiri’s tale to resume, as she shares the stage with other protagonists. We know this slow-burn weave may not suit all tastes, hence we share it through these articles, not proclaiming its greatness.
A key refinement since the first version is the dialect in the family’s speech, reflecting their life in a humble town with scant education, grounding their voices in their world.

Below is a glimpse of the latest version of the Girls’ Fate:
“Are you dressed yet?!” Ludmila did not give her peace.
“Aye, Mum!” she shouted with little thought.
“Liar,” Anti hissed, and he flicked her naked backside with a birch in their mother’s style.
Eiri leapt up in pain and surprise at the same time. Anti did not wait for her response; he dropped the switch and darted away before his sister could turn round.
“And don’t forget to bring a basket!” he mimicked Ludmila, sticking his tongue out at her and hiding behind the stove.
Furious, donning that ugly dress, Eiri picked up a flexible cane and pursued the fair-haired rascal. But instead of their usual chase round the stove, Anti sprinted towards the door, seeking refuge behind his mother’s skirt.
“You chickenshit!” Eiri shouted in disappointment.
Ludmila appeared in the doorway, her hands on her hips. “I’ve had enough of this!” she declared in a tone that made Eiri’s bum crack tighten. “Fetch a basket and let’s get going. And hand over that birch you’re hiding behind your back. I’ve a feelin’ we’ll need it,” ordered Ludmila, extending her hand.
As soon as Eiri caught sight of Ludmila, her posture stiffened like a ramrod, and her eyes shifted upward to the low attic where they were drying the gathered herbs. She swallowed nervously in response to the command and lowered her gaze.
Shuffling in her lapte—bast shoes woven from the bark of linden trees—Eiri approached the irate mother and obediently handed her the birch twig. Though sturdy, the shoes chafed her bare feet, a reminder of her mother’s insistence that she toughen up.
She glanced at Ludmila’s enraged face and hastily brought the wicker basket—the very same one she had forgotten in the woods at the start of spring, along with the lungwort flowers she had gathered to treat Anti’s chest cold. The compelled return for the basket, as nightfall approached, resulted not only in her mother’s reprimand but also in several nights of nightmares. The recollection of the dim forest and the eerie sounds that had to belong only to the creatures from ghost stories gave Eiri goosebumps and contorted her countenance.
“Why’re you gawpin’ like ye’ve swallowed a toad?” Ludmila snapped, her patience wearing thin.
“Yuck! A toad,” Anti peeked out from behind her skirt.
Their mother turned round and exhibited the birch to him, a stern expression on her face, without uttering a word or making any threatening gestures. It was enough to show him to make him understand she was in no mood for ploys.
If only the same would carry weight with her. Ludmila glanced at her daughter, who could not hide her annoyance.
Eiri gave a reproachful look to their mother, who was beginning to show the first wrinkles round her brooklime-blue eyes. The square shape of her medium white face appeared visually slimmer for her hazel-blonde hair, which flowed down over her loosely tied bodice and partially covered the sunburnt nape of neck. The corners of her wide, slender lips turned downwards, and though she appeared stern and menacing, she was only exhausted.
Ludmila wore a loktushe—a white bonnet, the emblem of a married woman—atop her head. The bonnet’s crisp linen folds framed her face, a stark contrast to the loose strands of hair escaping its edges. The pea-green skirt that extended nearly to her ankles, overlaying her long white shirt. A girdle with pouches for gathering herbaceous plants encircled her waist above her pregnant belly. She had feet swathed in foot rags and shod in low, heel-less, soft shoes fastened round her ankles with twine. These shoes, known as krpce in the local region, were tailored from a single piece of cowhide. Soft and flexible, they clung to Ludmila’s feet like a second skin, their worn edges a testament to years of use.
“Let’s go,” commanded Ludmila
At that moment, the anguished cry of Ivan resonated from behind her. Eiri and Anti jerked in alarm. The herbalist from Goldiloop pivoted on her heel and hurried out to her son, with the older children following suit.
The youngest member of their family sat on the doorstep beside his mother’s wicker basket. A small knife lay on the ground in front of him, its blade exposed, whilst its leather sheath was a little way away. Ivan clutched his bleeding finger, and his cries intensified.
Anti widened his eyes and hissed as if he could feel his brother’s pain. Eiri tensed up.
If he’s cut himself bad, we ain’t goin’ nowhere. A saving idea flashed through Eiri’s mind, followed by the pang of searing shame. Ludmila let out a deep sigh.
“Show me,” she urged her son, bending over her pregnant belly. Ivan obediently raised his arm. Ludmila grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him to his feet, and then she briefly examined each of his hands.
“You’re fine,” she delivered the stern verdict, wiping a drop of blood from his index finger with her thumb.
Anti breathed a sigh of relief, whereas Eiri could not help screwing up her face.
“It hurts!” Ivan complained.
“Then you should remember it,” said the seasoned mother sternly. “I told ye not to touch the knife. But you didn’t listen, so it’s your own fault. I ain’t gonna pity you,” she reprimanded Ivan for his mistake and straightened up.
Thank you for reading this preview. Did it spark interest or feel dull? Does it recall any book or style? Your feedback would aid our work.
Yours Truly,
Nathaniel Wonderful
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